Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dick very happy bro
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize