I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
