it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
