You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
