Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
