out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
