So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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