So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
