where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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