Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
