I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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