I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
