She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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