By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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