Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
