i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
