Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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