i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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