It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
