if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
