Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize