If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
time to smoke my breakfast
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
