So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
