Can Purell be used as lube?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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