you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
