If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
