so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
