ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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