Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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