Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
