I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
