Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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