I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
