Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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