A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
