I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
