This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
