my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
