All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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