I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize