You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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