Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
