My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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