i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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