If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
