One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize