just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
