didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
only you would photoshop your dick
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
