so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
