remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I will be naked everywhere
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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