if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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