also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
