you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
