I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
