really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
