My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Boobs are out for the taking
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
