The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Are we still banned from the library?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
