I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
