Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
