No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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