just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
