You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
