i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
