dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize