Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
