dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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