do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
