Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
